2003 Welsh Sports & Saloon Car Championship - Championship Awards Ceremony

On an occasssion enjoyed by all and after an excellent dinner, Clive Hayes opened the awards ceremony at the 2003 Welsh Sports & Saloon Championship awards dinner at the Bear Inn in Cowbridge, on 31st Jan 2004 with a vote of thanks for all the people who help in the background. After completing the awards for the Class winners and other awards, a delighted Rhodri Jenkins accepted his Class & Championship awards, & then gave an hilarious poetic acceptance speech

Ode to the Welsh Sports and Saloon Car Championship 2003 by Rhodri Jenkins

So here we are, in 2004, undiminished

Looking back at a year’s racing, that’s just gone and finished

Let’s look at the drivers and what they have done

And see who deserves to be Number One

Let’s start with the sports cars, so shiny and fair

Which as we all know, take an age to prepare

We’ve got Terry and Peter, Clive and Huw

Radically racing their Prosports for you

And Richard, our ‘milkfloat World Speed Record winner’

A title he won first time out, a beginner

Out racing his Clubsport you also would find him

Keeping Mallocks and Ernie the Milkman behind him

And then of course, is our ex-champ Graham Cole

Who spent a millenium getting his new Darrian to go

And then when it did run, on a slide it did tilt

Into a huge tyre wall, that Lydden Hill had just built

The blame, of course, was dodgy suspension

But if he was at school, he’d have been in detention

And detention, of course, is a place that’s well known

To our next star driver, who’s stature has grown

From Mondeo Touring cars, to a Le Mans’s car’s growl

That man, as we know, is Lord Alvin Powell.

All Clerks of the Course are Alvin’s best friends

Cause he’s invited to meet them, when every race ends

His rival is Hollis, who always will find ways

To drive not quite straight, preferring to go sideways

His Escort gets wider the higher the stakes

And much wider still, if Alvin overtakes

And Cindy, who’s driving her orange Global Light

And each time at Hatchets, makes a 90 degree right

Then spins like a top ’til the car grinds to a halt

Then storms up to Clive saying ‘It wasn’t my fault’

‘It’s the tyres you give me, they’re totally shot

Not shiny and new, like the ones that you’ve got’

Then there’s Terry, who every year that passes

Says ‘that’s it – I hang up my glasses

And not just my glasses, my racing suit too’

But just 3 months later, you know it’s not true

For Terry’s a racer, he was born to drive fast

And you know very well that this year’s not his last

He might say he’s going, but that’s not his quest

He knows deep down he can still race with the best

 And now to the real cars, the saloon cars of course

And what I shall say is without remorse

No motorbike engines, no wings to connive

That you know what you’re doing, when you really can’t drive

No downforce, no ground effect, and none of the tweaking

Of the sports car boys with all their fast speaking

Yes the saloon cars my friends, which need so much skill

To drive them so quickly, with maximum thrills

I mean Golf GTis and the Rovers that bond us,

And don’t you forget those Sierras - and Hondas

Driven by heroes, like Lee David and Tony Allitt

And young Rhys Lloyd , who in May hit my car like a mallet

But that, my friends, was merely a forerunner

For Andy Williams in October, who whacked my car like a top gunner

Then Christian too, whose Golf you will find

Lodged right up behind me, not looking too kind

And mention I make, of our Peter Salter

Whose enthusiasm for racing simply never does falter

And Mike Bevington, who’s Accord is just fine

At dropping rivers of oil on the best racing line

And then there’s Nigel Bowen, who turns up with his gear

Perhaps one Porsche, perhaps another, or maybe a Cavalier

He’ll sell YOU a car, one careful owner, you thought

Or maybe it was six – you’ll find out once it’s bought

And finally thanks, to Pembrey’s Nigel and Phil

For helping in the past, and helping me still

And to Rufus my race engineer who’s created

A quick Honda Civic without costs getting inflated

And to Barbara and my daughters for putting up with the cry

Of ‘I’m off somewhere racing – back late Sunday - goodbye’

But all that was last year, now I’m pleased to speak up

And say I’m delighted to join the names on this cup

I feel that I’m joining an exclusive Welsh crew

That I admit includes a select subset of all you

To have won the Welsh Championship – which is now in my clutches

I’ll only give it back when I fall off my crutches!!!

Points after 16 rounds Class Winners Awards  and other awards galleries